The ‘Full House’ When Urkel Taught Steph Glasses Positivity

(heartwarming music) – [Narrator] Stephanie has a note from school. It says she can’t see for shit and needs glasses.


(heartwarming music) – [Narrator] Stephanie
has a note from school. It says she can’t see for shit and needs glasses yesterday. She denies these baseless allegations by jamming her face an inch
from the note to read it. Girl, it is time to check those peepers. – What if they tell me I need glasses? I’m gonna look like a geek. – [Narrator] Don’t worry, Steph. That ship already set sail when
you put on your dog sweater. Danny’s strumming a little “Widower Blues” when D.J. and Julie bust in. Julie’s cousin Steve is in town and he won’t stop pestering them. They were never here, doses. – How annoying can one kid be? – [Narrator] Annoying
enough for two TV shows on the same Friday night. It’s Steve motherfuckin’ Urkel, and the studio audience goes nuts, like he’s the Rolling Stones or whatever. Urk-man invites himself in,
does the whole Urkel thing, asking for cheese, good stuff. Jesse teaches him how to strut. Super-normal thing to do
with a child you just met. Wait, what the fuck is
this mess of an episode supposed to be about again? – Oh, here’s another fun way to kill time. – [Narrator] The thesis of
this shoehorned episode. Steve begins telling, in graphic detail, the story of his messy birth. They send dim off before
he elaborates further on how he tore his mother’s vagina. Stephanie got glasses but
doesn’t wanna look like a dork, so Jesse models his glasses
and eases none of her concerns. Come on, let’s see
them, can’t be that bad. Goddamn, goddamn, them’s
some ugly glasses! They lie and say she looks smart, but she sees right through that shit, doesn’t even need her Coke bottle lenses. Stephanie confides in a Golden Retriever because her life is a
lonely marathon of misery. She looks in the mirror
and has a bad acid trip. In San Francisco, they put the
drugs right in the tap water. The gals try to ditch Urkel, but he’s an un-ditch-able
nuisance, human herpes. – Why do you talk like a Mickey Mouse? – That’s because I’m from Chicago. – [Narrator] Suddenly, the gun violence statistics make sense. Stephanie sulks in; she
doesn’t wanna be rude, but y’all need to get the fuck
out, it’s mopey solo time. Steve ushers them away, then corners Steph and demands to know her problem-o, but she doesn’t even know Steve! So he once again begins telling his disgusting miracle of childbirth tale. He’s always got it loaded and ready to go. Stephanie mentions her new glasses. Steve welcomes her to
the spectacle society and demonstrates how his
frames turn him into a stud, despite the fact that he has
a Stephane Urkel character arc that proves the opposite two
years from now, who cares? Steph doesn’t wanna get made fun of. Steve says, “Make bullies
laugh with you, not at you.” It’s reading time, and Steph has her face
all up on her literature. Teacher tells her to throw
them glass things on pronto, and boy, oh boy, this redhead
kid is chomping at the bit to bully her as soon
as he hears “glasses.” Stephanie remembers Steve’s sage advice and does some prop comedy? This should get her bullied worse, but these kids are dumb
and like her lame schtick. The teacher puts an end
to this lazy routine that is also bad. Joey finds Steph writing
“I will not disrupt class” a bunch of times as a
punishment; great school. She confesses she borrowed
Joey’s funny glasses and now they’re in her teacher’s desk where they can’t hurt any more audiences. – With our without your glasses, you are the most beautiful
third-grader I know. – [Narrator] Uh, how many
beautiful third-graders do you know, Joey? He has her take another
look in the mirror, only this time not tripping balls. See, nobody cares, not even Stephanie. – Kiddo, I think you look pretty mature. – [Narrator] Joey, how many third-graders are you talking to like this? So what did we learn today? If a strange kid from another
TV show waltzes into your home talking about cheese, teach him how strut, then point him towards your daughter. But don’t take his advice,
because it will lead you down the hopeless road of prop comedy, a comedy so unfunny, it doesn’t
even belong on Full House. And nobody cares about your glasses. Nobody cares about you,
you could drop dead today and the world will still keep spinning. So just remember that
if you ever feel down. See ya next time on A
Very Special Episode.

100 thoughts on “The ‘Full House’ When Urkel Taught Steph Glasses Positivity”

  1. I just realized…Stephanie has ratings in her ears that look like they go in pierced ears. But she didn't get them pierced until a later episode when she let Kimmie do it.

  2. And we never see DJ's friend or the ginger kid ever again because they probably fucking killed themselves.

  3. Since Urkel doesn't reappear on Full House again, so we can safely assume he regretted this ratings-scrounging crossover episode, and he probably fucking killed himself

  4. isn't joey just some guy with no relation to stephanie? Why is he of all three adults taking her to the eye doctor? Why not her father or her uncle?

  5. "You can drop dead today, and the world would still keep spinning, so just remember that if you ever feel down" ๐Ÿ˜‚

  6. "if a strange child from another tv show shows up on your door, teach him how to strut and point him towards your daughter." omg lol

  7. You can choose the frames in the style and color you want

    If you dont want to look like a nerd dont pick glasses that make you look like a nerd

  8. I remember when this episode aired. I made sure to finish my homework early so I could devote my Friday night to watching Steve Urkel jump the shark to Full House.

  9. Don't worry Steph, in 20 years people are gonna pay good money to wear glasses even if they don't need them for eyesight issues lol

  10. If I could incorporate 1:10 into my everyday life(i.e.: ringtone, audio wallpaper, doorbell, personal space alarm, etc)…

  11. Kind of surprised that no one ever thought to do one of these on that episode of Family Matters where Harriett and Rachaelโ€™s biological father returns, reconnects with them and then disappears forever in subsequent episodes. This is the only episode to my knowledge that Harriett and Rachaelโ€™s father appears or is even mentioned.

  12. Maybe if Aunt Becky put that school fraud money into some glasses Stephanie would not look MORE dorky than Steve Urkel..

  13. Who watched these shows? They are the cornball whitest shows I never seen. I can't believe this and 7th heaven were on for as long as they were. This show had 2 reboot seasons. WHO WATCHED THIS SHIT? SERIOUSLY!

  14. Programming note: No blacks watched this show back in the 80s. White girls did. How many Urkel blacks do you know?๐Ÿค”. Hmmm…

  15. Yโ€™know, for a second I glanced passed the title for the video while looking at the playlist and thought the video was called โ€œThe โ€˜Full Houseโ€™ When Urkel taught The Spinโ€

    Arigato, Urkel….

  16. These are funny as shit and insiteful,you guys need to seriously do a couple of sister,sister episodes! They had sum fucked up PSA episodes

  17. U need to do the one when dj and Kimmy wanna go driving with the guys and the dudes are reckless and they end up in a accident or something like that I don't fully remember the plot I just know it's with a car accident

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